Goals and Goal Setting: A Gentler Way to Begin the Year

As a new year begins, many of us naturally reflect on goals and goal setting, or we set New Year’s resolutions that, more often than not, don’t come to life.

We ask ourselves what we want to achieve or change. While this can feel inspiring, it can also create pressure when our goals are driven by expectation rather than alignment. At times, we focus more on what we don’t want in our lives, and unintentionally give energy to the very things we’re hoping to move away from.

When Goals Don’t Stick

Often, we consciously choose to set goals and still find ourselves not meeting them. I’ve done that many times.

For years, two themes collaboration and contribution have been something I’ve wanted to focus on. I could see them. I understood them. Yet I hadn’t fully leaned into them. Looking back, I can see that I had subconsciously chosen to do life on my own.

I followed familiar patterns of behaviour shaped by parts of me that believed independence was the safest option.

Understanding Where Patterns Come From

As a 12-year-old, I experienced trauma that taught me self-reliance as a form of protection. For a long time, doing life alone felt necessary. It made sense then.

With the support and guidance of life coaches and therapists over the years, I’ve been able to heal. Those beliefs no longer define me. What once protected me is no longer needed.

This awareness has changed how I view goal setting. Rather than forcing outcomes, I now approach growth with compassion, curiosity, and patience.

Choosing a Different Way Forward

This reflection has shaped how I approach my goals this year — with more awareness and intention. Instead of striving or pushing, I’m choosing to open myself to connection, collaboration, and contribution in a new way.

This gentler approach to goals and goal setting is at the heart of my M.O.V.E program, with the next intake beginning on 11 February. It’s a space where we slow down, explore what’s truly driving our choices, and align with themes and intentions that support creating a life you genuinely love.